Green Butterfly

Support from various sources:-

Broken Rites Area Representatives

Area Representatives are a point of contact for clergy spouses/partners and may offer support through group meetings, telephone contact or personal contact.  They will direct you to a Bishop's Visitor if appropriate.  They also represent area views at national committee meetings.

Bishops’ Visitors

Bishop's Visitors help Anglicans access support from charities and the diocese and provide information on housing, charities, legal assistance and benefits. They may provide spiritual and emotional support and reassurance. How to contact your Visitor should be in your Diocesan handbook or Contact Us.

Broken Rites on Facebook

Our Broken Rites page describes who we are and what we do.

For Members: Those who are members of Broken Rites are invited to join our Broken Rites group. The group is set to 'secret', so is secure and confidential: all those you will meet there are divorced or separated clergy spouses. The conversations we have are lively, frank, and very supportive. Message us through Facebook or here if you are a member and want to join in: there is no pressure to participate, and we'd love to have you.

Clergy Marriage in Crisis

We also have a second page on Facebook called Clergy Marriage in Crisis, visible to the public. It offers non-BR-members the chance to contact us if they wish to join our 'Clergy Marriage in Crisis' group.

A handful of members have set this up in response to the need to support non-members: in Facebook terms, it's a 'secret' group, so nobody outside of the group can see that you're in it. This group is primarily for those who are still in their marriages, or who for another reason may not have signed up yet as official BR members, and who therefore are not eligible to join the BR group. Those admitted to the group (at the discretion of the group admin) will find a space to rant/ find support /share advice with others who are in a similar position or who have 'been there'. Whether things are really bad, or you are just seeking reassurance through a 'wobble', we are here to listen, without preaching or judging. We recognise circumstances change and won't be at all offended if you leave the group at any time! Message us if you would like to join.

Support for adult children of divorced or separated clergy families

“ Survivors R Us is a confidential Facebook group for the adult children of clergy who have experienced parental separation or divorce.  It is a safe space in which to share experiences and support one another.  Contact Emily at emmacrumpet@yahoo.com to join the group.”

Clergy Spouse Support

Clergy spouse support is a blog which aims to offer information and advice to clergy spouses which may help them as they deal with the unique pressures of life in the vicarage.  It also has details of how to join Facebook support groups for clergy wives and husbands.  The blog can be found at  www.clergyspousesupport.wordpress.com and the blogger can be contacted at clergyspousesupport@outlook.com or by searching 'Clergy Spouse Support' on Facebook. 

Non Church of England Support

Please contact us for more detailed information about what is available in your area.

Other Support which we have found to be helpful - available to everyone 

  • Adviceguide is the online help from Citizens Advice Bureau and provides excellent up-to-date information on your rights covering many topics like benefits, housing, family matters,debt etc;
  • Benefits Rates provided by Department of Work and Pensions (DWP). Guidance only as rules complicated and you should seek advice from your nearest Job Centre Plus or CAB;
  • State Pension Entitlement This website will help you to calculate your state pension entitlement at retirement.
  • Turn2us is a charitable service helping people access money available to them through welfare, benefits, grants and other help. It gives a wealth of information.
  • Warm Homes Discount scheme Advice on eligibility for the new government "warm homes discount scheme"
  • Divorce Recovery Workshop - courses to help individuals come to terms with a relationship that’s irretrievably broken down.
  • Separated Parents Information Programme. Run by Cafcass, this is a course that helps separated parents understans to put their children's needs first and teaches parents how to manage conflict and other difficulties. www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-up/separated-parents-information-programme 
  • Spiritual Healing Group “Beauty from Ashes,” encourages those living through trauma or loss to find faith in Christ;
  • The Retreat Association - to help you discover your journey with God. Provides advice on making a retreat, finding a spiritual director and links to over 200 retreat centres across the UK and beyond;
  • Community Legal Advice - wide range of information on your legal rights 0845 345 4345.
  • Lawworks is a charity offering legal advice to those who are not eligible for legal aid and cannot afford to pay.
  • Family Mediation Helpline gives information about suitable local mediation services. If both parties agree then it’s a cheaper, easier, less stressful way of sorting out issues. 0845 60 30 809;
  • Money Advice Service is a government website giving free, impartial advice on money metters including the steps to consider if facing divorce or separation.
  • St Luke’s Hospital for the Clergy. Although the hospital is closed, healthcare is still available. It is working closely with Burrswood Christian Hospital and putting more emphasis on psychological as well as physical health. 
  • Cheap PC and Broadband Scheme backed by Microsoft, Talktalk, BT, Three and the Post Office to provide cheap computers and discount on broadband.

Charities

Many charities provide specific support for different groups of people - some specifically for Anglicans where stated, others open to everyone. Some charities we have found useful include:-

  • Sons and Friends of the Clergy may provide specified grants to separated and divorced clergy spouses of the Anglican Churches;
  • The Foundation of Edward Storey may provide help, grants and accommodation or offer a number of services to those professionally connected to the Church of England - at the discretion of their Trustees;
  • Independent Age (formerly RUKBA) primarily helps older people on low incomes remain in their homes as long as possible by offering regular financial support;
  • Smallwood Trust (formerly the Society for the Assistance of Ladies in Reduced Circumstances). Their mission is to enable women to become financially resilient by equipping them with the skills they need to secure a confident financial future.
  • Newton’s Trust may provide grants to divorced or separated spouses of Anglican Clergy and the Scottish Episcopal Church. Provide schemes to part rent and part buy or shared ownership etc. Phone 01543 306104;
  • Elizabeth Finn Trust may provide grants to those facing hardship and savings of under £16,000 or help with nursing home fees;
  • The Frank Buttle Trust may help with school fees and expenses for under 16s;
  • Rustats Grants at Schools may provide assistance to needy clergy whose children are being educated at maintained schools.  Preference is given to clergy below incumbent status.  Contact The Dean, Jesus College, Cambridge, CB5 8BL. Tel 01223 339421.
  • Housing - Bromley College provides some housing for clergy widows, divorced and separated spouses in converted flats. Phone 020 8460 4712.
  • Resources for the Republic of Ireland.

Were these link useful? Please let us know which links you found useful and if you would now like to consider joining Broken Rites.